Should be called "Wimpyspoons".
My partner and I booked a one night golf break at what the advertising suggests is a fairly up-market venue, a “Spa and golf hotel” no less which might indicate such things as health club style facilities, you know sauna and other wettening style activities.
As indeed it does! Ah unfortunately, they decided not to tell us they were “out of order” until moments after we arrived and anyway, we were not entitled to use as we were on a Golf break!
Be warned, when arriving, unless you go through the Golf club entrance you will enter through what looks like a Gypsy camp until spilling into a large gravel car park.
Let’s describe a few of the delightful circumstances we later encountered: dirty seating in the bar/clubhouse, (Photo taken) a room that out of nearly all the rooms in the building was without a “window”, we had patio doors opening onto the car park and barely hidden behind plastic hedging there was no way to allow that old fashioned luxury known as oxygen into the room without creating perfect conditions for peeping Toms and general burglars easy access, airless describes the room and only frequent night time rising to stand next to the door and open it for a few minutes made any kind of sleep possible. The bed? The huge bed was in fact two singles butted together which is of course normal but when the edges have massive hard piped sections when pushed together make for a ridge of Alpine proportions and therefore making for great contraception! I missed my partner that night as she was inaccessible.
In the bar after we arrived and were told we couldn’t check in until most of the day had gone, we discovered that unlike a “Hotel” we could not put drinks (or anything else) on the room? The seating was, as mentioned grubby and the small horrible plastic plantlets were a joke surely?
The barman had fingernails munched to the knuckle looking disgusting as well as unhealthy, the place had all the charm and warmth of Hannibal Lecter crossed with a toothpick.
The Golf course was OK, fun and challenging even though a couple of the holes meant my partner and I had to part company for 10 minutes while we went to our respective tees!
The Cotswold hotel and spa can best be described as a cross between Wetherspoons and a Travelodge, the building itself could clearly do with some maintenance as even the missing glass panel glaringly obvious as it has been replaced with a chunk of OSB in the balcony just above the reception entrance shows.
The carpet in the airlock we were given to sleep in was stinking and totally permeated clothes on the floor, this seemed to be because as mentioned earlier, it was impossible to have safety privacy AND air at the same time and the vent in the bathroom apart from being akin to a small aircraft taxiing before take-off had the air moving capacity of an emphysema suffering geriatric. There was no fridge the sheets have a thread count of around 4 per inch and the sink will direct water at your trousers if you turn the tap “on”, the toilet seat was knackered and getting any of the remaining bath/shower liquids into the bath was only possible from about a 5 foot height as they deemed the liquid of sufficient value to lock it in situ half way up the wall.
Dinner was acceptable but then Brake Brothers have been making food for long enough and if it was in fact freshly made they should consider suing the Hotel for copyright infringement. Breakfast was like a lay-by trailer with no apparent choice of eggs other than the lightly fried ones having their own “oil spa” on the platter they were placed on. The food was in fact cheap and nasty much like an old Wimpy cafe.
The place we had parked had a small “used” poo bag on the grass which whilst not the fault of the Hotel indicated a lack of grounds care (I suspect the plastic hedges were a giveaway as to the effort they decided to put into this area)
The whole experience was depressing, depressing and soul destroyingly ugly and we would NOT recommend it until they have taken a good long hard look at ALL their departments and decided that in order to call yourself a hotel you should at least try and fulfill some of the very basics.
Shameful place, do not go.
August 4, 2022
Unprompted review