FetLife Reviews 206

I am honest in that I think generally Fetlife is a good site, but it has its limitations and has got less and less enjoyable over the fourteen or so years I have been a member.
The world of kinky sex has been upended by feminism and gender politics.
I am Bi sexual and have never had any doubts or missgivings about it.
I also find slim toned girls far more attracftive than overweight ones.
I am not a young man and in truth I find a lot of ageism.
I'm also not a munch goer and prefer much more discreet meetings, but as such, I am sometimes labelled a geriatric creep.
It is not easy to meet other kinky people for relationships and mutual sexual satisfaction.
What others say about gatekeepers is true.
A number of interest groups are overseen by zealots, especially feminists who will jump on your every word if you as much as criticise the status quo.
The other thing that is a but of a pain is the dominance of Americans.

Broken website, not user friendly at all. I've been trying to get my email verified for days just so I can use my account. I'm required to have a FetLife account to attend certain events but it doesn't seem worth the hassle!

From a technical perspective, Fetlife is well-built. The site is structured well and has interesting features. Unfortunately, the real issue lies in the users of this site.

I created a blank profile simply to browse, with a bio stating that I wasn’t looking for private messages, real-life interaction, or explicit conversation. Despite that, I received dozens of unsolicited messages—none from users in my age range. I was 18 at the time. Most of the people who contacted me were in their late 30s to 60s. One person even disclosed being over 70.

Regardless of legality, we can't justify why so many older users feel comfortable pursuing someone barely into adulthood, especially when that person has made it clear they are not seeking contact. Many of these messages ignored my preferences entirely, and there was an overwhelming sense of entitlement and disregard for boundaries. It seems obvious they had 0 respect for me as a person.

There were also instances of receiving unsolicited explicit photos, which, unfortunately, seems common online, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. The repeated expectation from strangers that I should be immediately open, responsive, or submissive was deeply off-putting (we had nothing in common and no prior interaction).

This was not a pleasant experience. If you're seeking unsoliticed messages from geriatric men who don't actually have anything in common with you, this site might be right up your alley.

Their community "caretakers" do not care.

I signed up Feb 2025. I was LOCKED out of my account with no recourse, email, communication or conversation April 2025.

After digging through every email address I could find on my own to reach out to, I received a canned response:
"We don’t currently allow newly created accounts primarily to promote or sell goods and services. This includes, but isn’t limited to, content sellers, sugar daddies or babies, FinDoms, and other promotional-style profiles.

As a result, your account has been placed in our deletion queue and will be permanently removed in 7 days.

You’re welcome to return with a new account in the future—ensure it aligns with our guidelines. If you’d like to reuse the same email or phone number, please note that you’ll need to wait until 7 days after deletion for those details to clear from our system."

I have an export of all my data that proves I was NOT "primarily selling goods or services". I was actively engaging with groups. I was in DMs with potential play partners, vetting them to see if we matched. I was in DMs with someone whom - while not a play partner - we were exploring a PLATONIC dynamic as we enjoyed just conversing with each other. I was in the process of being vetted for 2 events I was interested in attending.

Of ALL the DMs I received, many potentials were turned down. If I was an account primarily selling goods and services, you don't say "no" to a 'sale'.

I put a lot of work into my account. I put a lot of work into my engagement and HOW I showed up in the community space - with the expressed purpose of experiencing my local kink community in a safe, sane, and consensual way and to have had that ripped from me with no recourse is NOT the way to run a business / platform of any kind.

So now my account is in queue to be purged. Meanwhile I'm hoping against hope to have someone actually LOOK at the content and activity of my profile and answer the question I asked their canned response "what's being promoted or sold"?

There are profiles that charge you money just to get a response to your DM. There are profiles that post only click bait teaser photos that lead to their OF or other such site. I don't knock folks working in the industry. Meanwhile, my profile had NO kink photos because I'm very private and selective. There were no teaser videos or click bait pictures Yet mine was the account locked out for "primarily selling goods or services".

I have never, in any community, social, and/or business interaction been through an experience where you're disregarded without so much as a conversation if there was confusion or a temporary lockout with email and warning if there was a violation.

What's even more nonsensical about this is that a week later you can just come back all over again. So not only did you just place in a queue to burn to ash all the community connections I made and work I've done to integrate myself into the local kink community but, if I truly were a violator, all I need to do is wait 7 days and start from scratch all over again?

Mind you, another layer to this, for me being a person who was never given the courtesy of a conversation, IF I decided to come back to FL, I still don't know WHAT was the issue to avoid, or confusion that locked me out because, once again, I was not there to SELL goods or services to begin with.

This was the WORST experience, the WORST treatment, and about as harmful as the ab*sers they allow to roam free.

In all honesty, don't waste your time with FL. While there are some great people there, those who run it are far from. Their website say they're not a faceless corporation, but that's precisely 1000% how they treat you. I've been treated better BY faceless corporations.

Edit to Add:
I've tried to work this out with FetLife prior to submitting this review. I've sent professional, coherent emails, hoping to discuss, resolve, appeal. Every word I've said I have backed up with proof. It would be preferable to discuss this and have my account reinstated before it's permanently yeeted from their purge queue.

However, aside from their canned response, I've heard nothing from them. They've refused to conduct themselves in a manner consistent with community or care. So I'll continue sharing my honest, professional, and truthful reviews because I believe others out there deserve to know this is how someone gets treated.

Edit to Update 4/23/2025:
Instead of reaching out to try and resolve this amicably, Fetlife has tried - twice - to flag me with TrustPilot. This review, just like my FL profile, was created according to guidelines. I have a feeling I know what's next....but we'll see. Meanwhile, their actions just serve to underscore everything I stated in my review.

Had my account for almost 7 years and six years ago met my now ex girlfriend of five years but after returning fetlife is not the same in fact its completely trash now I was lucky to meet three women there in the last year but beyond that its a complete waste of time with Onlyfans, scammers, fake accounts and no one responds ever now and you get lots of guys wanting you to have sex with them sorry no offense but not my jam so to speak and not looking to jam anything in your poop shoot

I cant set up an account. It wants a phone number and when I put it in it says there is a problem. There does not seem to be another way to sign up if it does not like your phone number (email etc) which is very frustrating. My friend has used Fetlife and tried to tell me about it but without having my phone number accepted or just using email I cant sign up

run by people who don't have a clue what there doing they have a security measure in place that if you open multiple tabs it times you out who ever fort that was a good idea needs fiering not only that the site owners and mods dont even follow thre rules but oh thats ok they can do what they wont scammmers dont pay them a god damn penny

I joined a photography group on fetlife, i saw a post by someone called "slep", I contradicted what he said based on my own experiences. The "slep" person then demanded i post links to external photography portfolios, i refused. Then "slep" posted links to external photographic portfolio sites.

I instantly noticed a major issue with the external links, the "slep" user had linke to 4 online portfolios used by peopel with the same last name, but with different first names, and different genders, and different countries then the user called slep claimed on his fetlife profile.

I called attention to this major issue in that user group, and my account was "locked out" the moment I logged out of fetlife this morning.

What a crock of poo. They, fetlife, made a huge deal out of online safety, and about how no one should be stealing photos... and to report it. I report it, and I get my account locked out.

I share some the same experiences as others on here-especially the ones about a "sock-puppet" account. Apparently I can't use my monitor to help any friends set up THEIR OWN ACCOUNTS.

Absolutely terrible site. Scammers everywhere. Over-opinionated people if and when you get someone to chat with you.

Awful website. Randomly got accused of having a “sock puppet” account and my account was put on timeout with absolutely no evidence. Was probably a hook up I didn’t want to see again. Obviously a feminist paradise.

My experiences have always been safe. Easy to use and connect with people. Great metrics for connecting with those compatible.

I was hacked and locked out of my account. I had friends report my account as stolen so SUPPORT locked it and prevented further problems. I’m no computer guru that’s for sure so my contact person TIFFANY had her hands full with me. She was nice pleasant and so helpful. You have any problems with your account do not hesitate to contact them. It may take a bit for them to get back to you but they will. Thanks again for all the help. Great bunch of people.
CMS1960
Carole

Absolute trash, zero customer support what so ever. They keep locking my account for reasons that are very unclear. I've emailed them several times and nothing back In Return. Not even a confirmation email.

I’ve used Fetlife on and off, starting when I was 18 and new to everything. The layout and functionality of the website is okay. The website is FILLED with men who act as if they’re special and you owe them something. They will send a “???” if you don’t respond to their message within a few hours. People won’t listen when you tell them they’re too old. So many people will literally stalk and harass you. When you block people, they come back on another account to message you. So many people on here have absolutely NO RESPECT for others and only care about their own wants. Not worth the hassle

Unsafe.

Despite clear policies about what they will do if abuse takes place, they do not enact most of these protective measures and policies are merely words. Allow repeat offence. Do not respond to appeals or legal emails.

Fetlife now feels very unsafe to me as I have experience that they will not adhere to their own policies to protect users. Scary and unsafe.

I tried to add to my previous review but everytime i moused over the edit button it skipped to the next page so... i just felt it necessary to push back against all these blatantly fake reviews that pretend to have no clue why everyone is so down on the site. Jesus could you be any more corrupt and dishonest? It just proves the point that instead of trying to repair their site, the staff prefers to astroturf the reviews with bullshit. Don't fall for it.

I tried to make a new fetlife since they locked my old account for no reason, and the exact same thing happened within half an hour of making a new account. this website is shit and customer service is nonexistent.

This site is completely corrupt as most of them attack you for no reason at and tell lies about people and call them names and try and insult you

My account kept getting locked and deleted with no reason or warning as to why. When I emailed support I never got a response. This site was decent before, now it's run by bots that block you unless you pay them.