FetLife Reviews 206

If I could give -5 I would. Utterly dreadful in every way, from the awful functionality and features (the most confused and badly thought-out website I've ever used). To the fact it's just a breeding ground for trolls, OF or company self promotion and abusive, ill mannered tw*ts. Avoid it like a bottle or stricnine!

Don't waste your precious time on this website it promotes prostitution even after management/legal knows about it.

The owner of the farm fetish shammed me and event hosts bully you if they hear bad things. They don’t listen to your side. I wouldn’t recommend the Canberra scene. Unless you want to be part of a community that bullies you. Good customer service though.
And now fetlife is trying to get my review censored from this site. You allow bullying! Shame on you!

After reporting prostitution on FL site by users the customer service after 3 times not done anything regarding this criminal activities.

Just Horrible site for any human to be on!!

most account there are either promoting for their only fan paid site.
or just fakes.
if u finally fine someone who reply to u with a message that isnt "pay me for my porn" they turn up to be a stuck up self centered people who think they are a gift from god and if you are not special enough for them they will not even reply to you.
all that while they keep replying with short 1/2 word messages.
of this what they call being social over there at fetlife then maybe they shouldn't call themself a social site.
I can fine many more fitting names for fetlife
Like "porn site" or "only fan promote site" any many other u can probably figure out urself by using the site for 5 minutes or even less.

I am new to this and thought fetlife will be a good opportunity to discover and learn more.I thought wrong!!!! I'm a newbie but I could clearly see there are so many fake doms & subs.It's clearly 95% porn 5%bdsm.You are 24/7 horny don't mean u like bdsm.Basically porn site.best way for postitures.

This site long ago used to be decent. But now that it's aged, it's showing cracks in the foundation. The site used to be moderated well and things kept copacetic for the most part.

Now, all the riff-riff is allowed to stay and do as they please while the people being harassed or attacked are penalized and blamed.

Not only that, it is overrun with fake accounts from scammers, and others attempting to make money from simps via their onlyfans pages. No real conversation, just"Oh, like what you see? PAY ME!".

Since their credit processor issue. They ask people to send money directly, via gift cards, or by cc using an overseas processor now. But honestly? The things you get for supporting the site, just aren't enough or worth it.

It certainly was a in a sad state

As a new member looking for conversation and support of like minded people. I was belittled, humiliated and completely NOT treated with any respect or support. They need to monitor the group monitors. So much judgmental women and way too much drama for me.

If you want to experience exactly why social media is so unhealthy, spend time on Fetlife. Just don't stay too long.

Even in its inception it was a hotbed of bullying, bickering, and two-faced jealousy, as a myriad of troubled souls battle it out to be on its 'kinky and popular' page in the hope that being so will somehow transform their lives.

That bullying and jostling for 'power' was bad enough in the early days, but now it's also literally crammed full of desperate young girls trying to sell every aspect of their sexuality for whatever coin they can muster.

As a consequence it's barely possible to find anyone who is actually on the site simply to engage with likeminded, genuine people. And the few that aren't there to sell or promote something are often so troubled that they're desperately vindictive, broken, jealous individuals.

The entire site revolves around being 'popular', something that's achieved by getting as many likes on your images/writing as possible. However 'success' is not gleaned by producing quality images/writing, but by liking as many other people's pictures/writings as possible, just so that they like yours back and in turn become 'friends' or 'followers'.

Being liked by one of the 'power players' gets you into the cliques and everyone on the site desperately tries to achieve that. Naturally, this induces mass jealousy, back biting, sniping and two faced behaviour on an outlandish scale. It's a genuinely unhealthy cycle but wholly encouraged by the system Fetlife has set up.

Then there's the politicos. Imagine the worst aspects of Twitter and you have the politicos of Fetlife, who apply 'cancel culture' pressure on anyone not supporting the current fad they deem everyone should be desperately supporting.

Fetlife is a cesspit and a glaring example of why social media is so grotesque and unhealthy. People go on there and think getting 'likes' and 'popularity' will change their lives, and it will, just not how they imagine it when they join up. It won't make you happy, it won't make you feel good about yourself, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with kink.

To conclude, Fetlife is full of bullies, politicos and money driven desperados. Roll up, roll up to the seedy underbelly of social media!

I've been on this site for over six years. It was OK at first but it is absolutely terrible now. It shouldn't even exist.

I originally went on because a girl I was talking to on a normal dating website told me about it. I was blown away at first and immediately thought it would be great to meet women, discover kinks and grow as a person and find out things that I never knew about.

I'm a man, mid thirties, single and the amount of abuse I have got is crazy. The moderators do not care. I could report racism but if that person who was racist is popular and especially if they support fetlife (the site is free but you can pay and you get extra features like being able to watch videos), nothing would get done. They would advise me to block the person however you can make numerous accounts and blocking someone doesn't punish them for being abisive.

They don't even ask for identification even though it's an 18 and over site!! There was once a girl on there who was 17!! Even though I reported her, she could just make a different account! Illegal!!

These days the majority of females are looking to make money and advertise their own sites on there like only fans. Some would have this written in their profile so you would know already not to message them as they are only interested in making money but some don't have it on their profile and then eventually they will hit you with it and not bother talking to you again unless you pay through their websites.

Unless you just want to have a perve then the website is COMPLETELY useless. I have spoken to many women over the years and I can honestly say that there were probably only 5% of those women who were genuine. The other 95% are either fake, only interested in promoting their websites/selling their underwear or whatever you want from then or they are just busive. The moderators are actually pointless. They is really no point in them.

The creators and people that may work for Fetlife should be ashamed of themselves but unfortunately because of the growing popularity of people wanting to sell their stuff/themselves, the site will probably get more and more members.

What could be a cool interesting website is actually just an utter disgrace.

I fully support the other people who gave a poor rating on this site and their points are fully valid since I experienced just a couple of days ago the same kind of problems and attitude on the site. However, I'm going to list down why I gave this 2 stars instead of 1 and also why the site didn't meet my expectations.

The good things first:
The site is legitimate and it's for free so you don't pay money to get in touch with people, so this is the only thing that made give the site extra star. The design looks beautiful and has a cute theme.

The bad things:
The list here is very long but before I begin my rant, I will point out what's lacking.
1- The site's mechanics and privacy settings don't protect you against trolls and people with attitude problems. The moment a disagreement arises with someone, they can see which groups you are in and they will try to spoil your reputation. Therefore, the site's privacy settings don't help much in tackling trolls. I have reported several times hostile behavior of some users and 24 hours, the site's admins didn't care. Imagine if you and that person knew each other in person and they are able to stalk you in real life.
2- The majority of users sitting on that site are malicious and unfriendly. These are the kind of people who have alcohol problems, drugs, etc... the reason they exist on the site is that the site is for free and they establish there an arrangement to have full control of who contacts who and etc... via groups and admin rights. So this is why several people on several forums also mentioned how much the users on Fetlife have attitude problems and they are really not people who should be allowed to be there in the first place.
3- It is not race friendly. A third problem which is not really a problem but maybe something the site should consider for future is that the site is centered around white people; so if you are not white and you happen to be there, it's a bit problematic because you'll end up being harassed by the white people on that platform since they are all over the place. There is no way for example to say, Ok, this group is not for Neo-Nazis so plz don't pi** on others. They can add race filters and enable people to filter race because otherwise, you'll end up getting offended if you met someone there who was expecting a white partner.

Now I will propose some solutions for this site to solve their problems. Now I know this doesn't seem like a full time job for the devs who made the site and they just feed on the ads, they can consider doing the below to improve users' experiences.

1- Put more power in privacy. Make it difficult for trolls to jump around groups and harass others. Improve privacy filters and enable people to keep their contacts, posts, where abouts as secret to non-friends at least. This will save you a lot of headache on the long-run.
2- Now I hate to say this but I see no other way, to get rid of the malicious people and trolls as much as possible, make people pay for using the site. I guarantee to you 90% of the jerks will be off in no time because I know what kind of people they are. Make people pay money for each post, message, for using the site etc.. but you can for example offer first week with symbolic tiny amount of money.
3- Hire actually people to handle complaints and ban or punish users who abuse the platform or those who harass others or stalk others.

Finally, my angry rant now will begin:
This site seemed to me like a dream coming true, the possibility to meet people who share my way of enjoying themselves and other stuff but it turned out to be eventually a disappointment and turned out to be not so much better than any other site.

Females are very few this is why they didn't add a filter to see people by their preferences so it becomes difficult to actually tell that there are very few females on that site. The site is imbalanced and is full of a huge number of males; so if you're not a 2 meters white, blonde male who is not shy to post photos of himself on such a site, your chances are zero to nothing. I ended up like many other members deactivating my account because of stalkers and malicious people on that site. It seems every jobless man/woman has an account and they're sitting there 24/7 trolling and abusing others and the majority of people there are not really fit for the site; they are wannabes and they continue acting like people who are stereotypical vanilla stuff but in a place that was meant for really cool people who are open-minded. So the category of people who are actually naturally fit for such a site to meet someone they like, they end up being just a small needle in the hay between all the other fakes and wannabes. Overall, for now, just deactivate your account like all the others did and let the trolls on that site rot in their misery and loneliness. Meet people in real life. FIN

If you are a monster who enjoys harassing the mentally ill, this is a very safe place for you. Fetlife condones behavior that includes degradation, mockery, and general insults towards the ill.
I was a Domme for going on six years, and while there were a couple of faux pas in that time, I never hurt anyone, became well known for certain talents, and learned a lot about sensuality.
I used a very large "rack" as we called it. It was at least an 8 ft tall A frame made of 2x6" boards and very heavy. I used it when I played with larger people or particularly wiggly ones. I had a large girl bound and blindfolded on it and we were having a blast when she suddenly pulled hard on the frame, hard enough to pull it down on top of us. (I had no idea anyone could do that). I put my arm between the floor and the top beam to keep it from smashing her face in. Other than my badly bruised elbow, no one was seriously hurt. The group leaders asked her to leave the group afterwards for safety reasons and previous disrespectful behavior.
I later found out that a close friend, who calls herself Phoenix Rose, of the young woman blamed me for what happened. She insisted I should be removed as well, but the witnesses in the room when the rack fell all backed up my story. Didn't matter. No one is interested in the truth. This monster has speny the last year and a half telling lie after lie about me to the point where I can no longer be a Domme. While there are some people who never bought it, they still avoid me because of my new reputation for hurting subs, especially if they are transgender. I tried repeatedly to post my side of the story. Some of my cousins even jumped aboard to try to help. While her insults and mockery of me stayed up for a week, everytime I tried to post my side, they closed the account. I said, fine. I'll just keep posting it. I even offered to just have it out with her, each tell our side of the story and let people make up their own mind. Nope. They took that down too. I'm sure if I threatened to rape her, it would have been left up. That sort of thing is okay!

- Plenty of abusers allowed on, no robust system to exclude them.
- Can sometimes get lucky for kinky times but very rare.
- Extremely negative view toward male submission, general trend is the majority of people are unable to tell the difference between consensual (BDSM) power and nonconsensual (social/economic) power, hence widespread disdain for submissive men.
- Far too many prostitutes and unable to express oneself openly for fear of being approached by prostitutes.
- Endless 'daddy doms' who are really just possessive and not kinky at all.
- Gender essentialism galore.

I've been on FetLife for over a decade. It used to be a site for learning, exploring and the occasional kinky meet up. It's gone from that to a racist, content stealing shitzhole site. The caretakers allow racism and vitriol and should be sued into oblivion for allowing stolen content. I've reported several users with valid reports of stolen content, and they do absolutely nothing to protect the people creating the content.

Avoid FetLife.

F these c u n t s.

As with all bdsm websites, it attracts a mental issue men with trauma, low intelligence men, imbeciles having no clue what bdsm is.
Many think its an easy access to sex, or their victims who let them to be abused. A LOT of completely deluded men.
I spent 3 years on it and never seen a normal mentally stable and intelligent man there.

Just to let anyone thinking of using fetlife know what really happens on there.
You will find that the caretakers are very racist and sexist.
I have now been discriminated against twice because i was honest and informed everyone on my profile that i am a romany traveller...something which incidentally i am proud to be.
I posted a normal post similar to everyone elses...then a female decided to post a totally uncalled for and insulting comment.
I pointed out that if she had no interest in my post that there was no need to comment at all...to which an argument unsued in the form of back and forth comments.
The caretakers said absolutely nothing to her but penalised me for protecting myself from this needless harrassment yet again.
Just making everyone aware of what fetlife is currently like and the sort of members that they now accept.
You dont need to take my word for it.. join and experience it for yourselves

Fetlife has allowed kinksters not to be alone. They promote safety and consent and boundaries and doing bdsm properly through being part of a community of like minded people.
Just like FBK there are still not nice folk, but it's a great way to learn and grow

If I could give this site negative stars I would. I've been a member since it started and just watched it go down from there. What used to feel like a friendly place where you could actually talk to people about your kinks and actually make friends (still have a few) has turned into a mess. If you're a man, you'll be hit by scammers (fake profiles with stolen pics, women who want money, camgirls, etc) and if you're a woman get ready for an onslaught of messages from men demanding nude pics and sex.)

This "lifestyle" also has a lot of wackjobs in general, but FetLife won't do anything to protect you from abusive messages and scammers; their customer service is HORRIBLE.

They also allow convicted sex offenders to remain on the site, even when given proof (mugshots, police reports - these people don't even try to hide their faces on FetLife) and FetLife considers it "outing" someone if you let others know (because their real name is in the police report) so you're the one who will have your profile deactivated.

If you want to meet kinky people, use a regular dating site and just say you're kinky, or find a local munch and go to it and meet people IRL. I've had much better luck with that. Despite what FetLife would like you to think, they aren't a safer alternative.

And they've forbidden most of the edgier kinks anyway, so unless you're looking for a wacko, scammer, troll, or person who is trying to be a kink "rock star," don't bother.

Oh, and if you want a lot of the features you gotta pay.

Deleted my photo after allowing it to be up for 6 years for containing minors yet allows penis pics as profile pics. But they were no minors in the pic they deleted. Horrible customer service.

Bdsm and kink is a scary place. You have to protect yourself as it does attract a lot of psychopath, sociopaths, abusers and people looking for there next target/victim. So when you join any website that has anything to do with anything of a sexual nature BE CAREFUL and go slow espocally if you are new in the scean. Fetlife is a safe place for noobies because you are in control of what happens and there are a lot of useful and helpful resorces. When you join don't chose a kink don't put up sexy pictures don't chime in on every discussion. Spend a week looking around if you see something interesting send a private message to the person who posted it then when you are ready update your profile and just give less info rather than more. Abusers will be attracted to fresh meet but you can block them. Respect others ideas and opinions dont kink shame or judge others and you will find FL an interesting and informative place.